I want to walk on stilts...naked
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
