Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
