Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
