I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize