Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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