I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
