yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
