Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
