We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
