i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Terrible idea I love it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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