i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
