I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
