so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
