I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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