I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
wow bdsm is so cute
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
