Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
