We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
