Redeem this text for a blowjob
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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