tell your sister to shave her snatch
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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