Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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