Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
