well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
