hotel room ftw
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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