I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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