I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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