i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
pop tarts are not kleenex
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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