So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
YAS. BRING CRAB.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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