I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
