Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
