May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
