Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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