you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
