I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
