He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
