Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
