i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
