period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
