So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
