I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize