When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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