Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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