You can't motorboat a personality
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
