Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just googled if crying burns calories
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
