the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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