Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
