Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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