dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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