you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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