My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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