i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize