? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
