im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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