"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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