I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
