i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
