That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
