Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Is it penis luge time yet?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
