Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
